The Dreaded C-Word: Colic

You would never know by the precious sleeping baby on my chest right now that she has now been labeled as a "colicky" baby. We have her two-month appointment scheduled for Monday, but I couldn't wait that long and just had to take her to the doctor today. I was at my wits end. I'll confess that I have probably been slow to admit that Emerson is a fussy baby - probably because everyone told me to "watch out" for #2, told me to expect a nightmare since Ethan was so good, etc. I wanted to prove them wrong. But, after seven weeks of crying, soothing, crying, soothing, and more crying I didn't know what else to do but take her to the doctor. Last Tuesday was literally the worst day I've had with her in seven weeks - let alone the last couple months. I can officially say that was my "rock bottom" that all parents go through at some point with a newborn. She bounced right back though and finished the week off strong...she was textbook - eating every 2.5-3 hours, sleeping well, actually smiling after she was done nursing, seemed content, etc. But, we started this week off like last and she's back to major crying bouts and doesn't seem happy at all.

Taking her to the doctor today was probably more so for me because I knew nothing was "wrong" with her (fever, ear infection, etc.). But, I was in need of a major emotional pick-up and the doctors and nurses at our pediatrician's office are amazing. I've called three times in the last seven weeks to have one of the nurses talk me down from the ledge because she won't stop crying. We would go through all the checklists - is it gas? is she getting enough at each feeding? is she spitting up more than usual? does she like the car? does she like a paci? Every conversation would end with what I knew was already true - I just have a fussy baby, I'm doing everything right, and I just need to continue doing what I'm doing. I'm lucky in the fact that since we were at the doctor so much with Ethan these nurses literally feel like an extended part of my family. I walked in today and was greeted with nothing but hugs and encouraging words. They are so good at their job and reassure me that I'm not the only mommy who calls in desperate and looking for answers.

Like most people, I thought colic was when it was non-stop crying 24/7. However, the doctor today explained the true definition of colic is "fussy/crying three or more hours a day three times a week or more." There is no known cause of colic and there is no treatment either...the silver lining is colic magically disappears at four months (if not three months). I've had friends with colicky babies and I know how much they've struggled. I still don't think we have it that bad, but I guess I feel like my emotions are a little more justified knowing she can be thrown in the colic category. When she has a bad day, I feel like a complete lunatic. I absolutely lose the ability to make a sound assessment when dealing with the crying/fussiness all day - on top of taking care of Ethan, myself, the house, running errands, etc. All I needed today was just to talk it out with the doctor and she literally spent about 45 minutes with us (thankfully holding Emerson the whole time and even got her to sleep). It is so reassuring to voice my thoughts (good and bad) to someone who listens and understands and can provide encouraging feedback. I know all my feelings are "normal" and "it will get better" - but sometimes it's just nice to say out loud that this sucks right now!

I have said before that it's been a lot easier for me to keep perspective the second time around. I know she will grow out of this and that it's just a phase. I know I'm doing absolutely everything I can. I know I'm still being a good mommy to Ethan. And I know right now that if the only thing that soothes her and keeps her calm is me wearing her the majority of the day then that's what needs to happen. Looking at the big picture, we're lucky this behavior isn't every day. She has proven to us she has the ability to sleep through the night, be content, smile, and be a happy baby. The good news is, every really bad day is always followed by several good days and that's all I can hang on to right now.

 

"His mercies are new every morning..." - Lamentations 3:23