Like most people, I thought colic was when it was non-stop crying 24/7. However, the doctor today explained the true definition of colic is "fussy/crying three or more hours a day three times a week or more." There is no known cause of colic and there is no treatment either...the silver lining is colic magically disappears at four months (if not three months). I've had friends with colicky babies and I know how much they've struggled. I still don't think we have it that bad, but I guess I feel like my emotions are a little more justified knowing she can be thrown in the colic category. When she has a bad day, I feel like a complete lunatic. I absolutely lose the ability to make a sound assessment when dealing with the crying/fussiness all day - on top of taking care of Ethan, myself, the house, running errands, etc. All I needed today was just to talk it out with the doctor and she literally spent about 45 minutes with us (thankfully holding Emerson the whole time and even got her to sleep). It is so reassuring to voice my thoughts (good and bad) to someone who listens and understands and can provide encouraging feedback. I know all my feelings are "normal" and "it will get better" - but sometimes it's just nice to say out loud that this sucks right now!
I have said before that it's been a lot easier for me to keep perspective the second time around. I know she will grow out of this and that it's just a phase. I know I'm doing absolutely everything I can. I know I'm still being a good mommy to Ethan. And I know right now that if the only thing that soothes her and keeps her calm is me wearing her the majority of the day then that's what needs to happen. Looking at the big picture, we're lucky this behavior isn't every day. She has proven to us she has the ability to sleep through the night, be content, smile, and be a happy baby. The good news is, every really bad day is always followed by several good days and that's all I can hang on to right now.
"His mercies are new every morning..." - Lamentations 3:23